Fear Liberation

I have been taught that you create your own destiny.

I guess I like to create things. I like to make small gifts for my family, put together videos and cards for friends, find things that have never been done or tried before, and create situations that call for new solutions.

But as much as I would like to think of myself as an independent being, I know that I wouldn't be where I am without my parents.

In many ways, we are tied to the environment that we are placed in at our birth. Some people are born royal. Some are born rich.

Then, there are people who are already marked at birth with crimes that they have never committed. The children at the Sun Village (Taiyangcun) in Beijing fall into this category.

The children at the Sun Village are neither orphans nor physically disabled, but at the same time they are susceptible to discrimination because of the crimes that their parents have committed.

My Chinese sister Paris has told me that the girl that she was supporting had a pretty traumatic childhood. Her mom killed her dad, not being able to withstand further abuse from her husband, and was sentenced a life-time imprisonment without parol. Soon after, the girl was sent to the Sun Village. She was only four when this happened.

But as soon as I entered the Sun Village, I heard laughs and giggles from several youngsters who were playing soccer on the playground.

Some children were hanging their laundry on the side, and some of the girls were braiding each other's hair. They may have been scarred deeply once in their life, but they have found new shelter at the Sun Village. I was inspired by their courage to stand up against their past and fear that no one would ever love them again.

Nelson Mandela, 1993 Nobel Peace Prize Winner said, "As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automactially liberates others."

These children at the Sun Village may not have much on the surface, but they have something that is perhaps the biggest gift of all-the ability to liberate other people just by their presence.

And I here I was thinking I was helping them with my box of American chocolates and animal crackers. The afternoon that I spent at the Sun Village was perhaps one of the most enlightening afternoons that I spent in Beijing. The children have done more for me than I can ever do for them, and I felt ashamed for thinking that just because I am better positioned in society at the moment, I would be doing all the giving.

My boyfriend asked me today over skype what was I afraid of. I blurted out without thinking, Asian ghosts and cockroaches. But perhaps I have yet to discover what my deepest fear is. Maybe I am still blind to all of the truths and realities around me to liberate myself from my own fear.

I am not in any rush to figure this out though. I want to take one step at a time in achieving this goal and facing my own fears. And when I do figure it out, I know I will look fondly back upon my memory with the children at the Sun Village.

I am on my way to liberate my deepest fear.